Years ago when I got into Coaching I did it because I loved the game of hockey. I was never really a good player as compared to some of my friends. I got into coaching because I had a friend who is a “hockey lifer” and a really good coach. When I started it was more about teaching the game and making sure the kids had fun.
During the next 30 years coaching changed. Not only do you have to know the X’s and O’s of the game, you also have to be a psychologist, therapist, and in some cases a role model. In my case I always had a feel for what was happening with players and the game. In the simplest of terms I guess you could say I understood the moment. However, when you understand the moment you need to have a Head Coaching that trusts this weird skill.
We coached some bad teams and some good ones. Our philosophy was our teams would better in March than they were in September and that our players would also be better humans. It wasn’t until about fifteen years ago when I really started to understand the human side of coaching. We figured out that if the individual does not improve then how does the team get better. We began to understand that you can can establish good habits and good process and not win. We understood that winning is an outcome and outcomes can not be controlled. That last sentence was a very hard sell to parents in the lobby after the game. We stressed to our players that when you cheat or take short cuts you may win the moment, but you lose in the long term whether it sport or life.
The other day I was doing some reading and came across a great passage from Gino Auriemma who is a multiple National Championship winner at UCON. I wish I had this when we were coaching: ” ask your players are you happy with the decisions that you make while playing? The decisions that you make influence you and your team on how the game is played. ” He made them think about there decisions. I never had a coach ask me that. If I made a bad one Coach would yell at me, staple my ass to the bench and if I did see the ice I played with the fear of making mistake again. May explain why I never really got much better and focused on golf.
Today I do some casual coaching in golf engaging in conversations with players about there game and where it is at. I ask what seems on the surface some casual questions, but I am more interested in how they react. How thoughtful the answers are and body language. I ask them are you proficient at what you do. Make the hard things look easy and the easy things look easy. That is what good players do.
That is coaching, and I learned that from a really good coach.
Until next time!
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Trust fuels confidence
Between The Ears 